Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize