As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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