Pregnant stripper...not hot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
