Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
