Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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