no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
