One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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