Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
