You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
