Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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