At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
