woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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