she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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