Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
