Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
