I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
