My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
