i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
