Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
