i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
