Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
