One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
