what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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