and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
