Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
