i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
