sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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