After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
