Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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