so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
