Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
