I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
