I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
