I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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