I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
