dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
