ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
my poor anus
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
