Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
where does the pee come out of this thing
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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