Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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