so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
