You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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