i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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