loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
