She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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