I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
