i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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