burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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