If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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