she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
