it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
