I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
