i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
