i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They have beer where we have blood.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
