So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
